Aids HIV FAQ

Keith Alexander Outed! (warning—long)

Question:

I found something very disturbing in deja-news, while looking for confirmation of some of the rumors that have been flying around about keith alexander lately…this is not pretty.  I’m sorry keith, but its time the truth be told: With friends like this… who needs enemies? Dear Keith… I just thought it would be a nice gesture on my part to submit this letter to the association that you belong to. Let me know if you think it’s ok!! Dear APP,  I am writting this letter to you so that you will recognize the talents of a true professional that belongs to your organization. I am speaking about Modern American Body Arts and it’s propriator, Keith Alexander. I have finally decided to get my first piercing, a "labret" and before I had this done, I asked who was the most reputable in my area. Without revealing names, I found out that he was too booked up to take me immediately. So I decided to pick a name out of a hat and wound up with the selection of Modern American Body Arts (MABA). MABA is located in Brooklyn, N.Y., which is quite a drive for me, but I decided what the hell, why not. So off I went!! Turning onto 87th street I noticed that the area was filled with hookers, drug addicts, homeless, and winos! Emerging from the abbandoned buildings surrounding the shop was a handpainted sign that read "Expret Body Pricing" Dodging many of the unsavories that surrounded the shop, including one wino who seemed to have vomited his entire life’s meal on the doorstep, I entered the shop through the busted door. My experience had only just begun. Now in the shop, the first sounds I hear are of Keith giving his professional attention to a potential customer on the phone. After "Well…go fuck yourself then!", the slam of the phone, Keith emerged to greet me. Now I can only say that all professionals vary in manner, and to say that Keith’s manner is unusual, is an understatement. Completely nude, Keith raised his hand and greeted me with his salutation of "What the fuck do you want, asshole!" I stated to him of the piercing that I would like to have done and with a hearty "Oh yea!! Well, how much money did you bring?", I proceded to sit down on the milk crate and anticipate my piercing.  After a few questions like, "Are you gay?", "Do you have AIDS?" and "Bring any type of drugs with you?", Keith proceded to prepare himself to get to work. In jest, I asked him if this was going to be painfull and his perky reply was, "Of course it will be. What the fuck do you think? I’m gonna jam this fucking needle through you ugly ass lip and then put a piece of metal in it. Now shut the fuck up because I’m sick of hearing that question!!!" Within seconds, Keith had me in a headlock and proceded to use his fist to hit me repetedly in the area where I wanted my piercing. He assured me that this was the proper way to prepare the area and then asked me if I felt numb yet. Dizzily, I said yes and the he went over to the table, cleared away the bottles of wine and vodka that littered the table to get his instruments from a coffee can. Noticing that the clamps and needles were dirty, Keith took a huge mouthfull of beer and then spit all over the instruments, then proceded to wipe them off on his briefs that were laying on the floor. Keith came over to me and said, "look straight at me, jerkoff" and within seconds, my bottom lip was clamped and ready to go. At this time, Keith informed me that he had to "take a shit" so I was to "sit fuckin’ still and keep fuckin’ quiet!!".  30 min went by and Keith returned to me stumbling and dropped the bottle of wine he clutched in his hand. He sat down, looked at me, sneezed, belched and farted, grabbed the clamp, jammed the needle through my lower lip, fell backwards and hit the floor. While getting up, he took out a stud from his own lip and then placed it into the freshly pierced hole on me.  WOW!!! Was that ever awesome!!  I mean, to be in the presense of a true artist and sort of be his canvass was truly breathtaking.  Without hesitation, Keith got up, extended his hand and asked for payment.  "200 dollars. No checks, no credit cards, just cash, you lowlife!" After settling my business with Keith, he then asked me to "get the fuck out" because it seemed he had to shit again. I left MABA with a feeling like I have never experienced before. Gratification. Maybe the method was a little strange, but the end result was fantastic. Keith Alexander, is a true artist and professional. I hope that this letter brings his talents and skills to your attention. I also wish that possibly in the near future that an award be issued to him for his methods and professionalism. I’m aghast.   abbie — "Push out the jive, bring in the love" –Montgomery Burns

Response:

BWAHAHAHAHA! Usenet is NOT the death of the English language after all! Oh thanks so much for posting this, it was TOO funny! I hope Keith gets a good chuckle out of it. iniquity >I found something very disturbing in deja-news, while looking for >confirmation of some of the rumors that have been flying around about >keith alexander lately…this is not pretty.  I’m sorry keith, but >its time the truth be told:

<snip snip very funny "letter", if you missed it, read the seed post please>

Response:

> BWAHAHAHAHA! Usenet is NOT the death of the English language after > all! Oh thanks so much for posting this, it was TOO funny! I hope > Keith gets a good chuckle out of it. > iniquity

Just to make sure, before this goes anywhere else, that article really *IS* in dejanews, and I really *DIDNT* write it. abbie

Response:

> > BWAHAHAHAHA! Usenet is NOT the death of the English language after > all! Oh thanks so much for posting this, it was TOO funny! I hope > Keith gets a good chuckle out of it. > Just to make sure, before this goes anywhere else, that article really > *IS* in dejanews, and I really *DIDNT* write it. >

abbie: I WANT CREDIT! smooches Judy

Response:

Judy (hey, didn’t you just have a birthday?) wrote >abbie: I WANT CREDIT!

Someone in SMF wrote it, I think.  It was funny Especially since *keith* posted it. ~ Rebekah http://www.bmeworld.com/rebekah/reasked-home.html I doubt that age has much to do with the level of rudeness here, it’s more a genuine disregard for civility and caring about one’s fellow human beings. – Denise

Response:

He should.  I memory serves, a friend of his wrote it and he posted it himself over a yr ago. Paul – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > BWAHAHAHAHA! Usenet is NOT the death of the English language after > all! Oh thanks so much for posting this, it was TOO funny! I hope > Keith gets a good chuckle out of it. > iniquity >I found something very disturbing in deja-news, while looking for >confirmation of some of the rumors that have been flying around about >keith alexander lately…this is not pretty.  I’m sorry keith, but >its time the truth be told: > <snip snip very funny "letter", if you missed it, read the seed post > please>

Response:

> Judy (hey, didn’t you just have a birthday?) wrote

tomorrow (May 18) >abbie: I WANT CREDIT! > Someone in SMF wrote it, I think.  It was funny > Especially since *keith* posted it.

Uh, yes. And I found it on DejaNews for abbie so there pbbbbbt. Errrr. Hi!

Response:

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